Eager Anticipation

Hello folks!,

I know I’ve been pretty quiet on here, but really, there hasn’t been much to report in the way of the hips! Which is really great news!

Current Status:

How far along?: 37 weeks + 3 days

Weight gain?: ~45 lbs

Here’s a somewhat current picture from last weekend. They say there’s a “honeydew melon” in there, but they have to be lying. It’s closer to something like a watermelon or donut car tire. Also note that this is 7 days ago, and if you don’t think that makes a difference you are very wrong.

UPDATE:
Just took a new picture tonight, so for comparison (sorry for the bright flash, lighting was terrible):

Baby is doing great! We are just about 3 weeks from liftoff and we cannot wait! We have all the furniture in place, pictures are hung, the clothes and swaddles are washed and ready, we’ve got a short list of names, and he’s got swings and pack ‘n plays and bouncers and all sorts of fun baby things. My hospital bag is packed and in the trunk of the car, I’ve got all my snacks for the hospital ready (this is noteworthy, as I am a constant snacker), even hubby’s stuff is all packed. We are officially READY!

This time has really flown by, it’s unbelievable to me to think that we will have our little guy in our arms in less than 3 short weeks (or sooner!).

As far as my hips go, I really can’t complain at all. There have been occasional days of discomfort; maybe in the sciatic or general arthritic joint pain. However, I really can’t say it’s been something that’s felt significantly worse because of the pregnancy.

So, what does feel different? Well, here’s what I’ve noticed in my hips and back: the heaviness really weighs on me (pun totally intended, FYI). While it’s not constantly painful, by the end of the day my hips and pelvis are very sore and achy. 45 pounds is a lot of extra weight to carry around. My days go mostly like this: When I wake up in bed, my hips are really achy and painful from lying in bed all night. I get up and go downstairs to have a cup of coffee and watch the news for about a half hour. I spend this time stretching my hips and trying to open up my pelvis. I do the butterfly stretches and I try to stretch out my sciatic and psoas a bit as well. This typically feels amazing. I get my day going and by the time I’m out of the shower and dressed, I feel pretty good. I’ve loosened up and I go about my business. The only time I feel any real pain throughout the day is if I sit for an extended period of time, so I try to get up once an hour and walk around the office a little bit.

By the end of the work day, I’m pretty tired…and my hips are getting pretty tired, too. By the evening hours, it’s about all I can do to get off the couch. It’s not that it’s excruciating at all, it’s just exhausting to be tired and achy. I’m sure all pregnant women, everywhere, can relate to this. The pain is an odd kind of pain. It’s not hip pain like I am used to experiencing (although I sometimes feel that arthritic pain as well). It’s like an aching in my groin and outer hips. Like the ligaments are sore and achy almost? It’s hard to explain.

Anyway, we covered my 45-minute bedtime routine in my last post. Now that I’ve gotten more uncomfortable I’ve changed it up a little bit. I have started taking two Tylenol before bed, and most nights I take a warm bath to try and ease the inflammation in my pelvis. Some nights I’m way too tired to take a bath, but I try to force myself because it does help. By the time I’ve filled the tub, soaked my daily stress away, and crawl into bed, the Tylenol has usually started to kick in and I can start with a fairly painless sleep position.

Sleep is still good to me, for the most part. I guess, what I should say, is that it’s as good to me as you can expect for a 37.5 week pregnant woman. I typically start on my left, non-operated side. That’s the side I’m most used to sleeping on because I never used to be able to lie on my right side pre-PAO. I still feel odd sleeping on my right side, although I’m getting better at it. I can really only sleep on my left side for about 3 hours before it’s really uncomfortable and painful. The pain is the hip pain I’m used to. It’s a stabbing, aching pain in the joint, and the ligament pain I explained above accompanies it as well. By this time I have to pee anyway (shocking!), so I get out of bed and when I get back in, I switch over to the right. A few hours after that, typically around 3 AM, I start to play the “which side hurts less?” game. The rest of the bed time is spent switching from position to position with some short periods of sleep in there. Most nights I get about 5-6 hours a night of sleep, which I think is pretty good all things considered. Some nights (like a couple nights ago), I sleep really awesome and it’s amazing. I was in bed for like 10 hours and got about 8 hours of sleep. Probably the last time that will happen until my son leaves for college…

Well, that’s really kind of it. To wrap up I will just say that every day it is more evident to me that this surgery really did change my life. I could not have handled this pregnancy if I hadn’t had PAO. There’s absolutely no doubt about it. It’s amazing to me to think about how great I am doing even though I weigh so much more and have such a burden on my hips. It’s not just the weight (although that is such a huge factor…pun intended again), it’s also the change in my center of gravity, and it’s the loosening of the ligaments and joints. I am certain that if I hadn’t had this PAO and labrum repair/microfracturing, I would be absolutely miserable. I don’t think it would even be possible to move around much. Just another reason why I am so grateful for Dr. Schiller, and for PAO; because of the surgery, I have been able to have such a great pregnancy. I cannot believe how lucky and blessed I have been. I have enjoyed every second so far. It’s been such an amazing experience, that I’m actually almost sad that it will be over soon! Clearly we are so excited to meet our little guy and have him in our arms…but there is just something so special about carrying a child. I can’t explain it, but it’s been the most amazing experience. I am sure I will miss carrying him once he decides to make his appearance!

So, here’s to two and a half more weeks of eager anticipation and unwavering excitement! We will be waiting for you, whenever you are ready Baby G! You just say the word, and we will be ready and waiting with open arms. See you soon, my little love!

We’ll talk soon, xoxo

D

P.s. I leave you with this:

27 weeks + 2

Well hello! 

Last time I posted I shared the exciting news of our pregnancy! That was around 18 weeks, and now I am 27 weeks and 2 days(ish). I really haven't needed to post much because I've been feeling really great! Up until lately I’ve had minimal hip pain and have been smooth sailing.

And really, in general, I still feel pretty great. I honestly can't complain! I’ve been so lucky. I hear a lot of women talk about how awful their pregnancies were. Constant nausea, terrible pains, no sleep, awful acne, tremendous weight gain, etc. It really runs the gamut of symptoms. I have very little to complain about.

For the most part: I'm still sleeping generally okay, besides the needed to pee every five seconds. I have rouge nights were I get hardly any sleep at all. Not always because I’m uncomfortable, but sometime just because I physically cannot get myself to fall asleep. It’s very bizarre. Like a pregnancy insomnia. 
I'm heavy. I’m heavier than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m up 26 pounds. Listen, that may not sound like a whole lot for a pregnancy, but I am tiny person. I’m barely over 5 ft tall and I’m about 125 lbs typically, so carrying all that extra weight in the front is hard for me. Especially with my joint issues. I knew I’d gain weight, and I’m genuinely okay with that. I am carrying it all in my belly, and I’m not really filling out elsewhere which is a good sign for losing the weight post-baby. The only thing that really bothers me about the heaviness is that it makes it difficult to do the day-to-day things. My back hurts, my legs are tired, I’m almost always winded (I had to take a second after putting on my sneakers this morning…), and my hips are starting to feel the strain.

However, I am managing. I'm trying to make sure to take breaks and relax when I can. I get tired easily, but I'm doing my best to take it easy. So far, the major hip concerns I have at this point are my left sciatica and some stiffness/uncomfortableness in my right hip. The sciatic pain is something that is normal in many typical pregnancies, I think that for me it's just slightly more exacerbated due to the pelvic issues I've had. I have been struggling with this almost daily. Right now it's not usually too awful, but it's regularly painful and the constant pain can be hard to cope with sometimes. My biggest concern is that I still have 13 weeks to go, and I'm certainly not going to get smaller. Ya know? Baby's only (God willing) going to get bigger, which means I am going to get bigger. This is the main concern: If I’m feeling this way now, how am I going to feel as I put on more weight? I can only hope that the weight gain continues to be gradual, and that my body adapts to the weight change as I go.

So, what am I trying to do for this? Well, almost every day I'm doing a series of stretches and yoga poses to assist with the sciatic pain and to try and open up and keep my hips and pelvis loose and flexible. It also helps keep me feeling like a little bit less of a lazy shlub. I haven't exercised once since I found out I am pregnant and I'm feeling slightly guilty about that. I am just trying to be understanding of my body and not overdo it when I really don't have to. I’m not gaining weight uncontrollably, I'm still eating pretty healthy food and snacks, and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything as far as exercising goes. Also, I'm generally exhausted most of the time and I feel like I would just fall asleep on the exercise bike. BUT, besides the stretches, I'm making sure to get up off my butt every hour at work and walk around a bit. I do a few laps around the office to get my blood pumping and to keep myself from getting too stiff. This does help a lot, as well.

On another note: I’d just like to state for the record that this pregnancy thing is pretty wild. It’s been an extremely interesting physical and emotional experience. There are a lot of things that women just do not tell you (or maybe it’s just not over-emphasized, or maybe I just wasn't prepared). I don’t know if it’s because they don’t want to scare you, or if they don’t want to complain, or what. Or maybe we, as women, just take this all in stride so well. But let me tell you, there are some bizarre things that go on in a woman’s body during pregnancy.

First of all, this stomach growing thing is out of control. I think it’s pretty much every day that I wake up and my stomach is a bit bigger. There’s crazy stretching feelings that go along with this; like you’re a balloon being inflated. It’s not necessarily painful, but it certainly doesn’t tickle. And the itching? Forget-about-it. I’m lotion-ing up every night like I’m on some Aveeno commercial. Matt laughs at me because I have like a 45 minute bedtime routine (half that is spent actually trying to get INTO bed). Between the pillow arrangement, actually getting into bed, the lotion application, the chap stick and then the catching my breath, I have to start at like 8:30 pm.

Another thing, the MOVEMENT: This baby is going to be some kind of martial arts extraordinaire. Either some kind of Jiu-Jitsu, or like a Taekwondo? Or maybe just plain old kick boxing, I have no idea. But whatever it is, he will be fabulous. I also predict he’ll come out of the womb walking with all of the strength and conditioning he’s getting in there with the kicking. How do you other pregnant ladies focus all day? I mean, really? I will sit in meetings and I am so concerned that people are staring at my belly (the one in which my child is doing back flips and cart wheels and somersaults). He’s active pretty much all day. I mean, don’t get me wrong…I love to feel him move, it’s the best thing I’ve ever felt in my entire life. There’s absolutely nothing like it. But…that’s the problem! How do you do anything else with yourself when all you want to do is laugh and giggle at this crazy kid having a rave in your belly? I guess I just always imagined it was more like occasional feelings of movement. Like when my sister-in-law was pregnant with my littlest niece, I remember thinking how rarely it seemed I had the opportunity to feel her kick. No, no. I was very wrong. I’m glad he’s active, because it means I can regularly know that he’s doing just fine in there, but sometimes Matt and I are downright shocked by him rolling and kicking!

Emotions: let’s just have a quick chat about this. The other day, I nearly cried at a commercial with a puppy in it. It was a dog food commercial and it showed a kid and his puppy growing old together and it just hit me right in my pregnancy feels. I had to take a minute to collect myself. There are many other triggers. If it’s got a baby in it, I’m likely to get emotional. I got a bit wet in the eyes during parts of the State of the Union address (really?....). I had my performance review at work a few weeks ago and I got weepy as I tried to explain how great of a year I’ve had at work. What? That one really made no sense. It’s like I am a crazy person. I also have a zero-tolerance policy on stupidity or laziness. I have very little left in patience. I don’t take any crap from anyone, which is a good and bad thing, as far as work goes.

And lastly, let me just talk about the hunger for a second. People (men especially), the pregnancy hunger that is so hilariously portrayed in romantic comedies is FOR REAL. I can’t say that I’ve personally experienced much in the way of cravings. But I have never been so hungry all of the time in all of my life (and I am a hungry person…an eater by nature). I will eat an entire giant meal, and still not be full. Just a couple weeks ago I had a whole appetizer plate of calamari on my own, then I had spaghetti and meatballs with bread, and went on to top off with a hearty piece of Tiramisu. It was delicious! And I wasn’t even full. That is like freakish. I was appalled at myself for just a hot second, then I remembered that I just don’t care at all. I have another similar lunch opportunity coming up this afternoon and I am seriously looking forward to it. This is my eating schedule:

5:15 am: Cereal
6:45 am: Hubby makes me a fruit smoothie for our ride to work

8:00 am: Frozen waffles (these are delicious FYI) or oatmeal

10:00 am: Snack (usually strawberries and blueberries or some kind of fruit...baby loves oranges)

11:30 am: LUNCH because I cannot wait another second. Usually a frozen lean cuisine and a small salad or something

1:30-2:00 pm: Snack (usually carrots and hummus)

Then this is the worst stretch of the day: I try to make it until dinner around 5:00. (I honestly almost always cave and have a bag of popcorn or some chocolate covered almonds)

5:00 pm: Dinner

6:30-7:00 pm: Dessert: Before pregnancy: a fleeting desire mostly snuffed by the will-power to stay away from unnecessary calories. Now?: An absolute necessity that I don’t go a single night without. Sometimes it’s Oreos and milk, sometimes it’s ice cream, sometimes it’s brownies. 
I don’t know or care what the daily caloric intake is there. And let me tell you that if I was taking this pregnancy eating thing with reckless abandon, there would be several other snack times in there. This is me being controlled and self-contained. THE HUNGER IS LIKE NOTHING I HAVE EVER EXPEREINCED.

Anyway, I’ve seemed to ramble on like I do. I’ll keep you posted as I move along in this pregnancy thing. My next OB appointment is in a couple weeks, I’ll post if there’s anything of interest to note!

Bye all, time for a snack,

D and baby G

Detour Ahead

Well, I know it's been a while and that no news usually means good news. And you know what? It has been good news! It's been almost two months since I last wrote, and in that time I have been really great.
Since we spoke last a few integral things have happened. 1) I have been going continuously to PT, and 2) I have been instructed by my surgeon to not do any heavy lifting at my job. Both of these things have helped tremendously. I have been feeling really great.

But, with almost every good, there comes some bad...so here's mine:
It seems as though I cannot lift really anything. (I preface this with I've been really awesome, so I hate to complain at all...this is more of an informational post than anything.) I say that I can't really lift anything because on Sunday I picked up and carried a laundry basket full of clothing about...I don't know...10 feet? The laundry basket weighed about 30 pounds (Yes...I weighed it). After lifting it, my psoas felt a little tight, but it wasn't terrible. A few minutes later though, my muscles were throbbing. It was the all too familiar pain that I get right before I spasm. I tried to just keep it extended and relax...but it was really difficult. For the rest of the night, and even most of yesterday, I had a really hard time walking. Every time I get up, the psoas is very stiff and painful. It seems better today, after just resting it a lot. I'll keep you posted on all of this.

I told you that Dr. S instructed me to not do any lifting. Well, because of this, I have to go through my HR department at work and have a written note and have "restrictions/accommodations" on file. This is because there are times during my workday where I may be asked to lift heavy items. Right now my note from Dr. S is very vauge, and HR would like it to be more specific so that we can all better understand my needs. And I agree. I think that, overall, this laundry basket situation will actually help me, because now I understand that lifting just 30 pounds is going to put me in a bad spot. So I am going to talk with Dr. S and his office this week and better define my restrictions.

So, as annoying as it was to have this episode, I think it will actually help us to define my needs right now. And I think it helped me really understand just how fragile this situation is. I probably knew I shouldn't lift that laundry basket (alright...I knew I shouldn't), but I've been feeling so great I figured it would be fine. I obviously learned that lesson pretty quickly and I won't be making that mistake again.

Well, this is frustrating. The longer this whole thing drags out the longer it feels like it's never going to get better. Will this always be this way? Who knows...
Anyone out there have any psoas insight?

That's all I've really got for you right now. I haven't been to PT in two weeks because I've been wayyyy busy at work. The next time I go, I'll update you all on the exercises I'm doing to help out this psoas.

Hope all you hip-y's are doing well.
D

 

Wallows and Sorrows

I had a day yesterday. A DAY. 

I’m just going to warn you that this post is full of whining and wallowing in sorrows and I HATE being that way. While I’m feeling way better now and far more like my optimistic and enthusiastic self…yesterday I had a bad, bad day. And while I’d rather just erase this day from my memory and move on with my life, this blog is a place to document the good, the bad, and the way ugly.

To start, that morning I had to drive an hour away to a field site where I had to spend most of my day. Because my prescribed Valium makes me feel like an astronaut floating through space, I thought it best to not take this pill and then drive a bazillion miles south down a 3-4 lane highway. I felt fine all day, much to my surprise. It felt a little, teeny bit tight, but mostly fine.

I had my Physical Therapy appointment scheduled at the hospital for yesterday afternoon. This was with the therapist associated with my surgeon’s office. I had intended to take my Valium when I changed to go to the appointment. THAT plan got foiled because we ran late in the field and I had to run around like ninny just to make it to the hospital in time for my 2:45 appointment. (Which I then had to sit and wait around for another half hour for them to be ready to take me…but I digress.)

Val, the very nice lady who looks very much like Sophia Bush, took me in and asked me 7 million questions and wrote notes all over my form. They all looked like chicken scratch but they apparently meant something to her. Then the fun stuff began.

She took all sorts of measurements of hip angles and ranges of motion. She took some lying on my back and my belly, an even on each side. She took measurements of both hips for comparison. There was lots of stretching and pushing and pulling. Then she started showing me “light” stretches to focus on the psoas/hip flexors. At that point, I could feel things getting a little angry in there. Just liiiiiittle bit angry.

She asked me how I thought the spasms might be triggered, so I told her that every time they’ve happened so far, it has been directly after sitting down. The folding of my torso and the contracting the muscle together seems to be what’s causing it (in my non-medically-trained brain). So she seemed intrigued but not surprised. Innocently she said “Okay, so just do me a favor, stand up and then bring your leg up into a marching motion.” And….BAM! Muscle SPASM OF DOOM! I immediately panicked because I knew I was a half hour from home, I had to drive my car, and I immediately couldn’t even walk or move. The therapist and I instantly tried working on it to get it to calm down.

We heated it, she did direct pressure and even massage, we stretched it…nothing helped. It was a freaking scene in the clinic because she had to help me with everything I did. She had to help assist me to the chair because I couldn’t move the leg, she had to get the heat for me. She had to help to and up onto the massage table while I writhed in pain. It was so embarrassing. And of course everyone watched in horror (probably not…but it sure felt that way). I was there for forty-five minutes with her trying to get it to calm down so I could at least leave. Finally we decided that I HAD to take the Valium, so she got my bag and some water for me. Luckily I had it with me.

After taking the pill it was like a twisted race against time. I needed the valium so that my leg could feel well enough to walk to my car and drive, but my Valium makes me pretty out of it and I didn’t feel comfortable driving while on it. What a mess.

When the spasms lightened a little, I was then able to at least move my leg a little bit so that I could walk if I crouched over and took tiny steps. I decided to leave at that point…there was nothing left they could do for me and as long as I could get myself into the car and comfortable, I was confident at that point that I would be okay to drive. As I was leaving, I bumped into my surgeon’s assistant, Hilda (aka nicest lady ever). She was so worried about me because I obviously looked like a hot mess. She didn’t know if I should drive like that. She lives in the town next to me and she wanted to drive me to a meeting place where Matt could then pick me up. I wanted to take her up on it, but the problem was that I was not leaving my car in the middle Providence overnight. I might as well leave a big sign on it saying “Please steal me!”

Hilda walked me all the way to my car, during which time she told me she really wants me to get a permanent handicapped placard. She told me to fill the papers out today and to send her the paperwork. She also said she was going to tell Dr. Schiller about the whole thing (I felt like it was when my mom used to say “Wait until I tell your father about this!”)

It took a few minutes to get into my car because of course I parked my car right next to a giant column and I couldn’t open my door very far. That made an already difficult situation even more difficult. Seems so silly to read that, I’m sure, but I was so stressed out from the mess of a scene at PT, then seeing Hilda and having her dote all over me and telling me she’s going to talk to Dr. S, and the tension from the spasm, this stupid column next to my car was like a monumental issue at the time.

I finally got myself into my car and found a position where I was actually pretty okay. I wasn’t irritating the spasm, and I could move my foot back in fourth to the pedals with minimal pain. It was obvious the valium was working and I could drive home. I just took it slow.

As I drove home, all of the everything that had happened over the last couple hours really just hit me all at once. I was overwhelmed and embarrassed. I was annoyed, aggravated, and most of all, severely discouraged. I kept having these awful “These spasms will never go away!” thoughts and the “I’m going to have to take Valium for the rest of my life!” thoughts. So dramatic, but I honestly couldn’t help it. I am not ever like that, ever. I pride myself on trying to always be thankful for what I do have, and grateful for an overall very healthy and happy life. But last night man, it all just kind of piled on.

And then it all just got worse. Because I am a Daddy’s Girl, through and through…right down to my core. I am the definition of a Daddy’s Girl. And my whenever anything got me discouraged, or down…or upset, I would always talk to my dad about it. He was the wisest man I’ve ever met; extremely intelligent, and insightful, and thoughtful. And besides all that, he was the most supportive person in my life. Always. He and I were two peas in a pod. So, for me, going through this has been difficult all along. But last night, after all I had been through that day, and the horrible pain that I was still having in my leg even three or four hours later, all I wanted was my Daddy.

I just wanted my Daddy. And he’s not here. So there it is. A girl sometimes just needs her dad…and I can’t have him. So while driving home, all of these awful emotions just hit me all at once and I had a “woe is me” sobbing-crying-pity-party all the way home and for about another hour after that.

Then I ate a brownie.

What can I say? Sometimes a girl just needs her Dad. BUT, I picked my head up, wiped the tears, realized I was being dramatic and have since just done my best to pick my sorry self up and move on. That’s what I do. I move on and adjust the sails.

Friday I see Sophia Bush (Val) again, and we are going to do more gentle stretches, no exercises. We may try some ultrasound, depending on how I’m doing. From this point forward I will not do any strenuous anything, I can’t even LOOK at strenuous exercises. No more of the exercises Dr. Schiller gave me. I just have a couple stretches that Val gave me and I have to do those three times a day every day.

Today, I am looking forward, and not backward. I’m realizing that even when I can’t hug my dad, he’s still hugging me. He’s here, and he’s supporting me, even if I sometimes can’t see that. Today, I move forward, and not backwards. This psoas is a roadblock, but I’ll find a detour to keep the course.