Eager Anticipation

Hello folks!,

I know I’ve been pretty quiet on here, but really, there hasn’t been much to report in the way of the hips! Which is really great news!

Current Status:

How far along?: 37 weeks + 3 days

Weight gain?: ~45 lbs

Here’s a somewhat current picture from last weekend. They say there’s a “honeydew melon” in there, but they have to be lying. It’s closer to something like a watermelon or donut car tire. Also note that this is 7 days ago, and if you don’t think that makes a difference you are very wrong.

UPDATE:
Just took a new picture tonight, so for comparison (sorry for the bright flash, lighting was terrible):

Baby is doing great! We are just about 3 weeks from liftoff and we cannot wait! We have all the furniture in place, pictures are hung, the clothes and swaddles are washed and ready, we’ve got a short list of names, and he’s got swings and pack ‘n plays and bouncers and all sorts of fun baby things. My hospital bag is packed and in the trunk of the car, I’ve got all my snacks for the hospital ready (this is noteworthy, as I am a constant snacker), even hubby’s stuff is all packed. We are officially READY!

This time has really flown by, it’s unbelievable to me to think that we will have our little guy in our arms in less than 3 short weeks (or sooner!).

As far as my hips go, I really can’t complain at all. There have been occasional days of discomfort; maybe in the sciatic or general arthritic joint pain. However, I really can’t say it’s been something that’s felt significantly worse because of the pregnancy.

So, what does feel different? Well, here’s what I’ve noticed in my hips and back: the heaviness really weighs on me (pun totally intended, FYI). While it’s not constantly painful, by the end of the day my hips and pelvis are very sore and achy. 45 pounds is a lot of extra weight to carry around. My days go mostly like this: When I wake up in bed, my hips are really achy and painful from lying in bed all night. I get up and go downstairs to have a cup of coffee and watch the news for about a half hour. I spend this time stretching my hips and trying to open up my pelvis. I do the butterfly stretches and I try to stretch out my sciatic and psoas a bit as well. This typically feels amazing. I get my day going and by the time I’m out of the shower and dressed, I feel pretty good. I’ve loosened up and I go about my business. The only time I feel any real pain throughout the day is if I sit for an extended period of time, so I try to get up once an hour and walk around the office a little bit.

By the end of the work day, I’m pretty tired…and my hips are getting pretty tired, too. By the evening hours, it’s about all I can do to get off the couch. It’s not that it’s excruciating at all, it’s just exhausting to be tired and achy. I’m sure all pregnant women, everywhere, can relate to this. The pain is an odd kind of pain. It’s not hip pain like I am used to experiencing (although I sometimes feel that arthritic pain as well). It’s like an aching in my groin and outer hips. Like the ligaments are sore and achy almost? It’s hard to explain.

Anyway, we covered my 45-minute bedtime routine in my last post. Now that I’ve gotten more uncomfortable I’ve changed it up a little bit. I have started taking two Tylenol before bed, and most nights I take a warm bath to try and ease the inflammation in my pelvis. Some nights I’m way too tired to take a bath, but I try to force myself because it does help. By the time I’ve filled the tub, soaked my daily stress away, and crawl into bed, the Tylenol has usually started to kick in and I can start with a fairly painless sleep position.

Sleep is still good to me, for the most part. I guess, what I should say, is that it’s as good to me as you can expect for a 37.5 week pregnant woman. I typically start on my left, non-operated side. That’s the side I’m most used to sleeping on because I never used to be able to lie on my right side pre-PAO. I still feel odd sleeping on my right side, although I’m getting better at it. I can really only sleep on my left side for about 3 hours before it’s really uncomfortable and painful. The pain is the hip pain I’m used to. It’s a stabbing, aching pain in the joint, and the ligament pain I explained above accompanies it as well. By this time I have to pee anyway (shocking!), so I get out of bed and when I get back in, I switch over to the right. A few hours after that, typically around 3 AM, I start to play the “which side hurts less?” game. The rest of the bed time is spent switching from position to position with some short periods of sleep in there. Most nights I get about 5-6 hours a night of sleep, which I think is pretty good all things considered. Some nights (like a couple nights ago), I sleep really awesome and it’s amazing. I was in bed for like 10 hours and got about 8 hours of sleep. Probably the last time that will happen until my son leaves for college…

Well, that’s really kind of it. To wrap up I will just say that every day it is more evident to me that this surgery really did change my life. I could not have handled this pregnancy if I hadn’t had PAO. There’s absolutely no doubt about it. It’s amazing to me to think about how great I am doing even though I weigh so much more and have such a burden on my hips. It’s not just the weight (although that is such a huge factor…pun intended again), it’s also the change in my center of gravity, and it’s the loosening of the ligaments and joints. I am certain that if I hadn’t had this PAO and labrum repair/microfracturing, I would be absolutely miserable. I don’t think it would even be possible to move around much. Just another reason why I am so grateful for Dr. Schiller, and for PAO; because of the surgery, I have been able to have such a great pregnancy. I cannot believe how lucky and blessed I have been. I have enjoyed every second so far. It’s been such an amazing experience, that I’m actually almost sad that it will be over soon! Clearly we are so excited to meet our little guy and have him in our arms…but there is just something so special about carrying a child. I can’t explain it, but it’s been the most amazing experience. I am sure I will miss carrying him once he decides to make his appearance!

So, here’s to two and a half more weeks of eager anticipation and unwavering excitement! We will be waiting for you, whenever you are ready Baby G! You just say the word, and we will be ready and waiting with open arms. See you soon, my little love!

We’ll talk soon, xoxo

D

P.s. I leave you with this:

PAO'd and Pregnant

So, those who have read my blog may know that hubby and I have had our share of ups and downs over the past several years. There have been wonderfully happy times, as well as tragic and heartbreaking times; we’ve seen each other at our highest and lowest points. Together, we’ve helped each other through our most trying times, and we have become an even stronger pair because of it. While these times have been stressful, and overwhelming, and have often left us feeling a little despaired…we know that enduring these times has made us what we are today, and I’m thankful for that. Good and bad, we take it all as an opportunity to learn and grow together, and to be better partners for each other. So, after the things that we’ve weathered, you can imagine the overjoyed, jubilant, and complete euphoria experienced when we learned that we will be parents come April! It has been the most exciting and joyful time of our lives! We are over the moon and just loving every moment of this new experience.

Baby G at 8 Weeks

So far, the pregnancy has really been a dream. We have been so fortunate. I had minimal morning sickness, and hardly any real “pregnancy symptoms.” I’m just about 18 weeks now. We’ve been to several appointments (including two ultrasounds), and all of our appointments have shown a healthy and happy little Baby G! We are soaking up every moment of this, it’s been so fun!

On a more serious note: something we are trying to be cognizant of moving forward is how my pelvic history could affect this pregnancy and delivery of this little ray of sunshine. Since we’ve learned we’re expecting, we’ve visited both our OB and our surgeon. Due to my complicated pelvic history, we’ve had several conversations with both doctors regarding what to expect during and how to approach pregnancy and delivery. 

Baby G at 12 weeks

Here’s a quick summation of history/current conditions of my little hip-y’s:

Right hip is severely dysplastic (center edge angle less than 5). It was surgically adjusted with RPAO in October 2012. The PAO was followed by an arthroscopic surgery to fix a torn labrum with cartilage degeneration and cyst formation. The arthroscopic surgery fixed the labrum, cleaned up the joint, and micro-fractured to create “new cartilage.”

Left hip has Pincer FAI and some labrum pain. This is not terrible, but it’s enough to be annoying from time to time. Lots of “start-up” pain.

Due to years of misalignment, I deal with some sciatic and associated back pain (don’t we all?). I also have arthritis in both hips. Occasionally I still get some psoas tightness and cramping in my PAO’d hip, as well. Overall, though, I feel really great! Once I’m up and moving, I’m pain free the majority of the day.

After discussion with my doctors, there are just a couple of things I need to be careful for:

-          When you’re pregnant, your muscles and tendons tend to relax and stretch. This could be troublesome for me since I’ve still got some psoas tenderness and other weakness in the surgical hip. While it’s not an issue overall, it could make me more susceptible to injury. Because of this, I’ve been told that I should avoid field work. Also, I began showing very early in pregnancy and my center of balance has been all out of whack since about 8-9 weeks which is another reason I should avoid field work. 

-          As I grow along with the baby, the extra weight could put an unusual amount of stress on my hips. A concern that I have is how that will affect my cranky psoas. It’s got a short temper (although it is better than it used to be), so I’m hoping that this excess weight won’t cause it to spaz out. (Literally.) I’m thinking that if the weight gain is gradual enough, it won’t be so bad. I’ve already gained almost 10 pounds at 18 weeks, so I’m almost halfway to the total amount of weight I should gain during the pregnancy. My surgeon had mirrored my concern, elaborating that as I get farther along, the pelvis will start to widen to prepare for childbirth. This is another time of concern, where we see how all the muscles and tendons respond to being a bit stretched. To keep limber during this time, he recommended I continue doing yoga consistently. I haven’t been doing yoga at all since I found out I was pregnant, since the internet has a funny way of telling you about everything that could possibly hurt your baby. One of the pieces of fear-mongering I read was that some stretches can hurt the baby and cause contractions (or some craziness like that). So I skipped out on it until I could figure out a good prenatal yoga class to attend. Luckily, I have a wonderful friend who gave me a prenatal yoga DVD so that I can do these classes on my own time, in the comfort of my own home. The yoga should also help out with the sciatic pain, which has always been an issue and I’m sure will continue to be.

-          When delivery day (or night) comes, we’ll need to pay special attention to what my hips are telling me. Although no one expects an issue, if I’m having a hard time getting good comfortable birthing positions or if my hips just aren’t widening enough, we’ll need discuss a caesarian section. This is absolutely not wanted or expected at all, but it’s just something to be prepared for in case. Another scenario is if the baby is a big’un, and I’m a little one, it may be better for my hips to deliver by caesarian. All things that only time will tell.

Other than that, this is all just a “wait and see how it goes” kinda thing. I’m the first PAO’d patient of Dr. Schiller who’s had a pregnancy post-PAO, so he’s just as interested in seeing how it goes as I am. Hopefully if I can keep consistent with the yoga and just take it easy, I should be just fine!

I’m looking forward to what the next few months bring! 

Thanks all, hope you’re well and happy!,

D

Disabling the Disability

You know, it’s funny. I commuted into Boston today to work out of our corporate headquarters. I took the train, and then walked from the train station about 10 blocks/a half mile to our office. As I got ready in the morning, I knew I had to wear sneakers because of this long walk. I put my sneakers on thinking “Will I ever be able to make a decision without weighing the effects it will have on my hips?” I thought that even though I’m surgically “fixed”…I’m not really, technically, fixed. I guess that even after a surgery like this, us hippies always have to worry about the fatigue, and the arthritis damage, and all of our little dings and dents we’ve gathered along the way. While I feel great (and I really do), I think everyone can admit that we still seem to have some minor limitations. And it got me to thinking, even after having a corrective surgery, do we still carry the burden of a “disability?”

Before surgery, it look me a long time to admit that I have a disability. It seems like a word that’s meant for people who are truly worse off than I am, or was. I always felt like saying that I have a disability was me trying to make excuses for myself. As my pain progressed, everyday things got harder and harder for me. I began to face that fact that admitting that I have a disability is not making excuses, it’s accepting myself and my limitations for who I am and what they are. And that is far more important than pride. Mentally and physically, that was the hardest thing for me to admit.

Then, I settled into that definition. I came to terms with it. And, as I planned out the surgery and recovery, it really came to be a part of me and I embraced it. I knew my limitations and I could accommodate them. It was certainly a hard pill to swallow, but I felt as though the best way to deal with the situation was to face it head on. And so I did. Throughout PAO and scope recovery, I pushed myself when I needed to, and I cut myself slack when it was necessary. I lived with the hope that with every passing day, I was leaving my “disability” a little farther behind. 

As time went on, I got stronger; I became mobile and agile, and I became essentially pain free. And after a long while, I really felt great. And I still do. I feel better than I EVER have in my life. But, the reality is, I will never, ever be 100%. None of us hippies will ever truly be 100%. I just don’t think it’s possible. 

We all have our creaks and our cracks, and we have our aches and our pains (some worse than others). I have “start-up” pain in my left hip, and I still have arthritis pain in both hips most days. It’s not terrible, and it’s not constant, but it’s there. I guess my question is, we can recover from surgery, but do we ever recover from our “disability?” I was probably insatiably optimistic to think that I would wake up one day and feel like I never ever had any hip problems at all. I’m learning more and more, as time passes, that I will never truly shake myself of this feeling of being “disabled.” Even on my good days, where I am predominantly pain free, I worry about my hip. Mostly unnecessarily, for sure, but the slightest bit of worry is there.

And what’s worse is that these are the best days for me and my hips. They are great days, and I am thankful for them. I am doing things every day that I wouldn’t have been able to do effortlessly pre-surgery. However, I can’t help but have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that it’s really kind of all downhill from here. These blue skies and tranquil waters are available for a limited time only. It’s like a ticking time bomb.  When will the other shoe drop?

Anyway, I hate to sound dramatic. It’s certainly not like I’m feeling this way every day. This morning, as I planned to wear sneakers because of the long walk, it just kind of struck me that there really is no way around these hip thoughts. And even though I feel better, I will never feel totally “normal.” I won’t ever be able to be totally carefree about my hips and how I use them. This is a fact of life for us hippies. 

However, I insist to always look at the positive. I still am thankful, every day, for the PAO surgery and my recovery. I am thankful that I can walk pain free, every day. I’m thankful for Dr. Schiller, and University Orthopedics. I’m thankful for Rhode Island Hospital and their fabulous care. I am thankful for Lepre Physical Therapy, and for Tom Almeida, who was a Godsend to me during my recovery. Truly a friend and huge supporter. I’m thankful for a one-of-a-kind husband who is irreplaceable. I (literally) could not have done all of this without him. And I’m thankful for all of my family and my friends.

I have a good life, and there’s no disability that will ever change that.