Friday, May 9, 2014

Moving Forward, Looking Back.

Finally! Today I finally got a respectable answer on what is going on/a plan of action.
It’s been two weeks since the MRI and while I know that Dr. S’s office is very busy…a girl needs some guidance and reassurance here and there!
I had my MRI on the morning of Friday, April 25th. That afternoon, Hilda from Dr. S’s office called me to tell me that the preliminary report came back. The good and bad news is that the MRI was completely clean. No issues whatsoever. Which is great news, but also baffling. She said that everything on the MRI was perfectly fine in the hip area, but that I had a cyst on my right ovary and I needed to call my doctor to have that looked at. (Seriously? “You can stop worrying about one thing, but here’s another!”)
Hilda explained that this was just the preliminary report and that Dr. Schiller wanted his preferred radiologist to look at it before we decide on any plan and that they would call back. So I waited and waited to hear back about this…and I just heard today (after several check-ins and voicemails on my part)! It was a pretty aggravating two weeks....yikes. I don’t usually ever have a bad thing to say about that office…but I was really stressed about this whole situation.
Anyway, I had PT that afternoon of my MRI. I met with Val and she stretched me, massaged the muscles and asked me to go through the stretches she had given to me. I talked to her about the pain I was having after doing the stretches (the pain I described in my last post). Val said that it seems like the muscle group is just so tight and strained that it doesn’t want to relax with any amount of stretching at this point. So, we have to start with some very light, “easy-does-it” exercises. We are now doing exercises that don’t require me to work against gravity; just two different exercises with a stretch or two at night for now, until I feel like I can handle more. I haven’t been to her office since the MRI day, since she was away for a little while and my week this week has been crazy. I have another PT appointment next Friday and another the Friday after that. Dr. Schiller says he wants me to continue PT for at least a few more weeks to see if it gets any better. If it doesn’t get better than we will have to re-assess at that point.
Additionally, I’ve been to the doctor about the cyst on my ovary and my doctor is not concerned about it at all. He looked over the MRI and said it’s so tiny that he’s not sure he would have even mentioned it if he had seen it. He is fairly certain it’s a follicular cyst, which is very common. Just in case, we are doing an ultrasound on Tuesday to be sure.
As far as the actual psoas goes, it’s been doing okay. I haven’t had a real spasm in just over two weeks. The new exercises make it unhappy but I do feel like they are making it a little better. Slowly, but surely. I haven’t been doing much in the way of strenuous activity so it’s had some time to rest. Yesterday, though, I was in the field doing some heavy lifting. By the end of the field visit, I could feel the wrath of the psoas. It was really achy and tight…throbbing even, like it might want to spasm. It didn’t spasm, which is huge. By the end of the day, it had calmed down a lot and was mostly just achy. Today it feels completely fine, again…which is great. I would think that the lifting definitely isn’t great for it, but I honestly feel like once we get PT going on a regular basis we will be moving in a much better direction. Three weeks ago, I wouldn’t have even been able to lift anything heavy without some serious pain. Yesterday felt like a step in the right direction. We will have to see how the next few weeks go.

To end, I'll just say that these are the most frustrating types of issues...are they not? You and your doctor obviously know that something is wrong...but you have no physical evidence to tell you what it is, exactly. My muscles feel as hard as a rock, but the MRI shows nothing wrong at what is going on!? These "let's just wait and see if you get better" courses of action are the absolute worst. I know there isn't anything better that Dr. S can do at this point in time...but I can't help but feel like we're not doing anything about it at all (even though that's not true). The patience that I harp on ALL THE TIME in regards to this recovery is seriously waning. I just want to be better and normal and done with all this! I'm a year and a half out...I shouldn't be dealing with this, seriously! 

Rant over...I promise. Lately I do feel better, so I am focusing on that. But I can't help but think about how much these spasms hurt, and how they impact my life when they happen. It's a helpless feeling when you can't move at all without severe pain. I'm in a strange limbo right now where I'm trying really hard to focus ahead and move forward...but I'm also stuck looking back on the past few weeks. What if this doesn't get completely better with PT? What if I keep getting these spasms at seemingly random times? What happens at that point? Do we go in surgically and see what's going on? Do we take out my surgical screws? What if THAT doesn't work? Will I be able to carry a little one on this psoas? Right now, I certainly don't think I could. Who wants to be super pregnant with major hip spasms that render you immobile? Not me! I don't even want them now, never mind when I'm in the middle of a pregnancy. Talk about stress. 

There's no timeline for this...and that drives me crazy. It's a waiting game...and I just have to keep being patient....

I’ll keep you posted on my PT as we move forward. Just another small roadblock, but I’ll figure my way around it!
Thanks all,