365

What an interesting day it was. I felt a strange tugging on my psyche all day. I felt like I was in a strange vortex of time where I was living my current day…but I was constantly thinking about the day in regards to where I was one year ago.  I’d look at the clock: “Oh, it’s 7:45, they were just pumping me with happy juice to head to the OR.”

Or: “12:45? I was about an hour away from being out of surgery.”

Or my favorite:

“2:30? Ugh…I was VILE in recovery at 2:30. Mint green and all sorts of pukey”

And in case you’re wondering, at this time last year (6:40 pm) I was high as a kite on morphine and zonked out of my mind.

Anyway, I wanted to make this a post of reflection. One where I answer the questions I get often from people…and some I know I’d ask someone else if I had the opportunity. So, here goes nothing!

Did you feel like you were fully prepared for surgery and recovery?

Absolutely. We thought we were perfectly prepared…had prepared for weeks.

Were you actually prepared for surgery and recovery?

Absolutely not. But, the thing is, you really can’t be totally prepared. You can’t know how debilitating the surgery is, until you’re debilitated from the surgery. We figured it out as we went…it was a lot of learning on the fly.

What is the last thing you remember before surgery?

The very last thing I remember is looking around the operating room and seeing my surgeon standing around with his surgeon buddies oogling my x-ray.  I remember thinking various thoughts like: “I hope he slept well last night.” “I hope he had a great big cup of Joe.” And “Boy, I hope he’s feeling dapper today!”

What is the first thing you remember after surgery?

Dry heaving! I remember a lot of awful, terrible dry heaving. And I remember my lovely recovery nurse, Sarah, telling me I looked like the ceiling tiles (which were green). I remember she was a rebel and gave me my blood transfusion before she was supposed to…and I remember thanking her profusely because it made me feel so much better. Then I remember drinking a ton of ginger ale (only to later puke it up).

What were the first three weeks after surgery like?

This was the most trying/worrisome/painful/difficult part of surgical recovery. I spent the first 5 days in the hospital. This was both good and bad for a lot of reasons. First of all it was good because I was really nervous about how fragile I was. But…it was bad because you really don’t sleep in the hospital. For a place that wants you to rest, they sure do LOVE to wake you up every chance they get. I also had a little bit of a hard time because I reacted to the transfusion and had a high fever for three days. Once I broke the fever, cleared PT in the hospital, and got my surgeons’ blessing…I went home. I was so thankful to be home with my family…but petrified at the same time because I didn’t have nurses there for my every need. My husband (who became known as Nurse Matt) had to do EVERYTHING for me. We had visiting nurses come to teach us how I could get around in my house. I still to this day tell myself: Good goes to heaven, bad goes to hell. That is what the nurse taught me to remember which leg to use each way when you’re going up or down the stairs with the crutches. Good up, bad down. It was a difficult time. I had to relearn everything, and while it wasn’t particularly painful in the hip joint at this point…it was painful when I had to do my physical therapy.  Overall, it was physically and emotionally taxing the first two weeks at home. I had a hard time realizing and accepting all of the help I needed. I had a lot of moments that felt like a let down. I felt really helpless…and I hate that feeling. It took a few days for me to accept the condition for what it was…and to realize that I needed the help if I was going to get better faster. After those first three weeks, we were in a great rhythm. I was feeling stronger, starting to get my appetite back, and feeling better about myself.

What was the best tip or trick you learned to help you recover?

While I was non-weight bearing, the best trick I was taught was to put a plastic garbage bag on the reclining chair before I sat down. This plastic allowed me to slide easily onto and off the chair. It also helped me reduce friction when I was doing my physical therapy. I know that seems ridiculous…but I was so weak I couldn’t even move my leg at all because of the friction between my sweatpants and the reclining chair fabric.

What was the most painful part of the recovery while you were non-weight bearing?

The Rectus muscles. I had a LOT of pain my thigh muscles for a long time. When Dr. S did the surgery, he had to cut these muscles off of at their attachment point to access the hip joint. After he put them back, it took a LONG time for them to recover. I still have weakness in these muscles. The nerve pain was pretty prevalent for the first few weeks as well.

What was the most painful part of the recovery while you were walking?

The psoas. It is STILL the psoas, as we’ve all read in several posts. This has been painful from the very first few steps I took post crutches.

What was the most rewarding moment of your PT? 

The high hurdles! There was an exercise that Tom had me do with these little hurdles that he’d line up on the floor. I’d have to step up and over them and walk over all of them with both legs. The hurdles had a low and high setting. The high setting was only about knee high…but it took me MONTHS of Physical Therapy to be able to lift my RPAO-ed leg high enough to be able to do all the high hurdles without a ton of pain in the psoas. The night I did the all the hurdles on my own, without stopping…I nearly cried. I was so proud of myself.

What was the worst part of recovery?

It is easy to think of a lot of these! Staying at an angle less than 70 degrees! That was AWFUL. Having to sit in the recliner for WEEKS, in the reclining position. Another is that there was a day where my psoas was hurting so bad I had to leave PT early and I limped really badly for the rest of the day. That day, I really thought my psoas would never get better. The first day home from the hospital was really, really hard. Those are the three that stick out in my mind the most.

What is the best moment of your recovery so far?

Walking down the aisle unassisted as a bridesmaid at my brother’s wedding. That was a great feeling of accomplishment for me.

What was the hardest part of recovery?

Everything. But the most difficult part of recovery was constantly finding the patience that was required to get fully “better.” There were times where I just wanted to RUN away from my crutches…or to SCREAM because my stupid psoas was acting up. There were times where I would literally cry because I was so frustrated with how long it was taking. PATIENCE is the most difficult part of the recovery process. They say it takes about a year…because it takes about a year. Recovery is SLOW. Now, repeat that a hundred times when you’re just out of surgery…because you’re going to need to remember that.

What was the most frustrating part of PT?

There were days where I lacked the patience I needed to continue on with PT and recovery. These days I often got frustrated at PT and either pushed myself too hard or didn’t try hard enough because I felt like I was always doing the same thing and it wasn’t making a bit of difference…even though it was. The nagging issues like the psoas, the nerve pain, the pinching in the joint…they were frustrating because they took so long to get better.

Do you wish you changed anything about your PT?

I wouldn’t have changed anything, per se. I think that I may have like to have added massage and hydrotherapy. I hear a lot of people talk about these things and they were not a part of my physical therapy/recovery process. I bet the hydro would have been heavenly for my little hip-y. And who doesn’t love a massage? One of the biggest surprises post surgery has been how screwed up my body has become because of the different (read: correct) hip structure. My back hurts often because my hips are now correctly aligned and it’s not used to that. My sacro-iliac joints on both sides hurt occasionally, my left more so than my right. My core is all messed up because I’ve got a whole different posture. It’s been hard to get everything back where it’s supposed to be. No more slouching over when I walk, no more short steps. Massage through all of this would have been very beneficial, I am sure.

Was it all worth it? 

YES. Yes, yes, yes. It was 100%, no doubt about it, absolutely positively worth it. I am a new woman. I am rejuvenated. I sleep better, I walk better than I ever have in my life. I am living a life doing anything I want without ever worrying about pain. That’s something that I just couldn’t have fathomed before. I feel amazing…like really, amazing.

That’s it! If there’s anything else you’d like to know…or want to add, please feel free! Having input from readers has been so great. I hope that I can continue to be helpful for all of you hip-y’s out there. I’ve had a lot of fun with this, and I hope to keep it going!

So…in closing, let me just say “Cheers!” Cheers to a year that was filled with pain and healing, with hard work and dedication, with small bouts of depression…and big moments of accomplishment, with exhaustion and with rejuvenation.  There was some sadness…followed by elated joy. A year filled with highs and lows, a year of reaching goals only to set more, seemingly unattainable ones. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to work through, and now that I’m out the other side…I just cannot believe how lucky I feel. I feel lucky to have had fantastic friends and loving family to support me every step of the way. Lucky to have had a relatively easy, breezy recovery. Lucky to have found a surgeon who cares about me, and what I’ve been through and am still going through. A surgeon who’s skilled at what he does, and provided me the opportunity at a new take on life. One without daily pain and aggravation, a life without constant decision making based on levels of pain and fatigue.  A life where I can get up in the morning and just do whatever I want. I never have to worry about how many pain relievers to take before my day starts. I never have to worry about whether I can run all the errands at the end of the workday, or if I’ll have to save some for the next day when I’m not in so much pain. One where I don’t have to ice or heat my hip to try and alleviate the debilitating pain. I never realized how bad it was, until it was so, so good.

Lastly, I am thankful. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to have the surgery, thankful that I have had such a great recovery, and thankful (every second of every day) that I have had an extremely successful PAO experience.

But mostly, I am thankful for every one of you: all the people in my life who have supported me (silently or loudly). I am thankful, and grateful, and forever honored to have had such amazing people by my side throughout all of this. It’s amazing, what good help will do for a recovery. Most of all I can do today is owed to all of you out there who have been with me this whole journey.  I really couldn’t have done it without you. So, thank you. <3