Breaking Bad (Habits)

Now that I’m a year on, I find myself really focusing on the little things. I don’t walk with a limp anymore, and I don’t even hesitate to do anything at all with my hip throughout the day. Now, I mostly just focus on all the ridiculous bad habits I didn’t know I had. It’s amazing what the human body will do to “protect” itself over time. I’ve been in pain for so long, that my body developed these coping mechanisms I didn’t even know I had. You change certain things about how you move, and how you position yourself so that you don’t trigger that horrible pain. 

I don’t think I realized how many bad habits I have, until I started trying to break them. For instance, I still have a hard time walking straight upright. I still have somewhat terrible posture. Before PAO, my labral tears were so bad that I couldn’t take a full step across the top of my hip without buckling pain. If I ever even tried it, I would end up bent over cursing at myself. I also couldn’t stand up straight when I walked because the full pressure and stretching on the joint hurt immensely. So, I walked just a little bit hunched over with my shoulders slouched in, and leaning forward to alleviate the stretching in the front of the joint. I took small, half steps on my right side, limping so that I didn’t have to move across the top of the joint. Tom (my PT) used to call this guarding. I was guarding my hip from any motions that would cause pain. 

Another bad habit I learned over the years, to protect myself from my hip pain, was to walk down the stairs facing sideways. So, instead of facing straight down the stairs and putting all of my emphasis on walking down straight onto my hip, or over my hip, at some point I started walking down stairs with my body facing to the side. Usually, I face the left side. Most of the time, now, I catch myself doing this mid-flight of stairs and I think “What the heck am I doing?!” Well…when I really think about it...I was protecting my joint from full pressure and movement. 

I still physically pick up and lift my RPAO-ed leg into the car with my hands after I’ve sat in the seat, and then do the same and lift my leg out when I’m attempting to get out of the car. I don’t have to do this anymore…it’s just a bad habit. This was a habit I learned post PAO. The psoas and rectus muscles were so damaged that I couldn’t even lift my leg up with my own muscles, I had to lift it with my hands and move it into the car. Even today, over a year later, I still have a little bit of trouble doing this on my own…so I still lift my leg with my hands. 

I still sleep on my left side. Every night, always. This one is the worst. I can’t seem to break this habit. The problem is that sleeping on your left side for a million years is not good for any of the other joints…like, let’s say, your shoulder. My poor left shoulder and my left side of my neck are constantly aching because of this. Problem is, I can’t get comfortable any other way! I’ve been trying to fall asleep on my back or right side, it’s been a bit of a battle…but hopefully I’ll get used to it over time. 

These are just the ones I catch myself doing on a regular basis. Now, breaking myself of these things is what I have been focusing all of my “recovery” on. I make myself walk straight up, with good posture. I force myself to go down the stairs correctly. I am trying to remember not to lift my leg into the car, and every night I continue to try and sleep in another position. I’m finding it’s very difficult to change something your body has been doing for years and years. It’ll take some time, but I’ll get there.

Now that I’ve got other hip-y’s thinking about it, I bet you’ll start realizing that you’ve got things you do to “guard” against your pain. Whether it’s before your surgery, if you’re recovering from a PAO or other surgery, or you’re years separated from a recovery…I hope that you and I will both be able to live without guarding for pain.

Hope all are well,

Talk soon,

D xox