What an interesting day it was. I felt a strange tugging on
my psyche all day. I felt like I was in a strange vortex of time where I was
living my current day…but I was constantly thinking about the day in regards to
where I was one year ago. I’d look at
the clock: “Oh, it’s 7:45, they were just pumping me with happy juice to head
to the OR.”
Or: “12:45? I was about an hour away from being out of
surgery.”
Or my favorite:
“2:30? Ugh…I was VILE in recovery at 2:30. Mint green and
all sorts of pukey”
And in case you’re wondering, at this time last year (6:40
pm) I was high as a kite on morphine and zonked out of my mind.
Anyway, I wanted to make this a post of reflection. One
where I answer the questions I get often from people…and some I know I’d ask
someone else if I had the opportunity. So, here goes nothing!
Did
you feel like you were fully prepared for surgery and recovery?
Absolutely. We thought we were perfectly prepared…had
prepared for weeks.
Were you actually prepared
for surgery and recovery?
Absolutely not. But, the thing is, you really can’t be totally prepared. You can’t know how
debilitating the surgery is, until you’re debilitated from the surgery. We
figured it out as we went…it was a lot of learning on the fly.
What is the last thing you remember before surgery?
The very last thing I
remember is looking around the operating room and seeing my surgeon standing
around with his surgeon buddies oogling my x-ray. I remember thinking various thoughts like: “I
hope he slept well last night.” “I hope he had a great big cup of Joe.” And
“Boy, I hope he’s feeling dapper today!”
What is the first thing you remember after surgery?
Dry heaving! I remember a
lot of awful, terrible dry heaving. And I remember my lovely recovery nurse,
Sarah, telling me I looked like the ceiling tiles (which were green). I
remember she was a rebel and gave me my blood transfusion before she was
supposed to…and I remember thanking her profusely because it made me feel so
much better. Then I remember drinking a ton of ginger ale (only to later puke
it up).
What were the first three weeks after surgery like?
This was the most
trying/worrisome/painful/difficult part of surgical recovery. I spent the first
5 days in the hospital. This was both good and bad for a lot of reasons. First
of all it was good because I was really nervous about how fragile I was. But…it
was bad because you really don’t sleep in the hospital. For a place that wants
you to rest, they sure do LOVE to wake you up every chance they get. I also had
a little bit of a hard time because I reacted to the transfusion and had a high
fever for three days. Once I broke the fever, cleared PT in the hospital, and
got my surgeons’ blessing…I went home. I was so thankful to be home with my
family…but petrified at the same time because I didn’t have nurses there for my
every need. My husband (who became known as Nurse Matt) had to do EVERYTHING
for me. We had visiting nurses come to teach us how I could get around in my
house. I still to this day tell myself: Good goes to heaven, bad goes to hell.
That is what the nurse taught me to remember which leg to use each way when
you’re going up or down the stairs with the crutches. Good up, bad down. It was
a difficult time. I had to relearn everything, and while it wasn’t particularly
painful in the hip joint at this point…it was painful when I had to do my
physical therapy. Overall, it was
physically and emotionally taxing the first two weeks at home. I had a hard
time realizing and accepting all of the help I needed. I had a lot of moments
that felt like a let down. I felt really helpless…and I hate that feeling. It
took a few days for me to accept the condition for what it was…and to realize
that I needed the help if I was going to get better faster. After those first three
weeks, we were in a great rhythm. I was feeling stronger, starting to get my
appetite back, and feeling better about myself.
What was the best tip or trick you learned to help you recover?
While I was non-weight
bearing, the best trick I was taught was to put a plastic garbage bag on the
reclining chair before I sat down. This plastic allowed me to slide easily onto
and off the chair. It also helped me reduce friction when I was doing my
physical therapy. I know that seems ridiculous…but I was so weak I couldn’t
even move my leg at all because of the friction between my sweatpants and the
reclining chair fabric.
What was the most painful part of the recovery while you were
non-weight bearing?
The Rectus muscles. I had a
LOT of pain my thigh muscles for a long time. When Dr. S did the surgery, he
had to cut these muscles off of at their attachment point to access the hip
joint. After he put them back, it took a LONG time for them to recover. I still
have weakness in these muscles. The nerve pain was pretty prevalent for the
first few weeks as well.
What was the most painful part of the recovery while you were
walking?
The psoas. It is STILL the
psoas, as we’ve all read in several posts. This has been painful from the very
first few steps I took post crutches.
What was the most rewarding moment of your PT?
The high hurdles! There was an exercise that Tom had me do with
these little hurdles that he’d line up on the floor. I’d have to step up and
over them and walk over all of them with both legs. The hurdles had a low and
high setting. The high setting was only about knee high…but it took me MONTHS
of Physical Therapy to be able to lift my RPAO-ed leg high enough to be able to
do all the high hurdles without a ton of pain in the psoas. The night I did the
all the hurdles on my own, without stopping…I nearly cried. I was so proud of
myself.
What was the worst part of recovery?
It is easy to think of a lot of these! Staying at an angle less
than 70 degrees! That was AWFUL. Having to sit in the recliner for WEEKS, in
the reclining position. Another is that there was a day where my psoas was
hurting so bad I had to leave PT early and I limped really badly for the rest
of the day. That day, I really thought my psoas would never get better. The
first day home from the hospital was really, really hard. Those are the three
that stick out in my mind the most.
What is the best moment of
your recovery so far?
Walking down the aisle unassisted
as a bridesmaid at my brother’s wedding. That was a great feeling of
accomplishment for me.
What was the hardest part of recovery?
Everything. But the most difficult part of recovery was
constantly finding the patience that was required to get fully “better.” There
were times where I just wanted to RUN away from my crutches…or to SCREAM
because my stupid psoas was acting up. There were times where I would literally
cry because I was so frustrated with how long it
was taking. PATIENCE is the most difficult part of the recovery process. They
say it takes about a year…because it
takes about a year. Recovery is SLOW. Now, repeat that a
hundred times when you’re just out of surgery…because you’re going to need to remember
that.
What was the most frustrating part of PT?
There were days where I
lacked the patience I needed to continue on with PT and recovery. These days I
often got frustrated at PT and either pushed myself too hard or didn’t try hard
enough because I felt like I was always doing the same thing and it wasn’t
making a bit of difference…even though it was. The nagging issues like the
psoas, the nerve pain, the pinching in the joint…they were frustrating because
they took so long to get better.
Do you wish you changed anything about your PT?
I wouldn’t have changed
anything, per se. I think that I may have like to have added massage and
hydrotherapy. I hear a lot of people talk about these things and they were not
a part of my physical therapy/recovery process. I bet the hydro would have been
heavenly for my little hip-y. And who doesn’t love a massage? One of the
biggest surprises post surgery has been how screwed up my body has become
because of the different (read: correct) hip structure. My back hurts often
because my hips are now correctly aligned and it’s not used to that. My
sacro-iliac joints on both sides hurt occasionally, my left more so than my
right. My core is all messed up because I’ve got a whole different posture.
It’s been hard to get everything back where it’s supposed to be. No more
slouching over when I walk, no more short steps. Massage through all of this
would have been very beneficial, I am sure.
Was it all worth it?
YES. Yes, yes, yes. It
was 100%, no doubt about it, absolutely positively worth it. I am a new woman.
I am rejuvenated. I sleep better, I walk better than I ever have in my life. I
am living a life doing anything I want without ever worrying about pain. That’s
something that I just couldn’t have fathomed before. I feel amazing…like
really, amazing.
That’s it! If there’s anything else you’d like to know…or
want to add, please feel free! Having input from readers has been so great. I
hope that I can continue to be helpful for all of you hip-y’s out there. I’ve
had a lot of fun with this, and I hope to keep it going!
So…in closing, let me just say “Cheers!” Cheers to a year
that was filled with pain and healing, with hard work and dedication, with
small bouts of depression…and big moments of accomplishment, with exhaustion
and with rejuvenation. There was some
sadness…followed by elated joy. A year filled with highs and lows, a year of
reaching goals only to set more, seemingly unattainable ones. It was the
hardest thing I’ve ever had to work through, and now that I’m out the other
side…I just cannot believe how lucky I feel. I feel lucky to have
had fantastic friends and loving family to support me every step of the way.
Lucky to have had a relatively easy, breezy recovery. Lucky to have found a
surgeon who cares about me, and what I’ve been through and am still going
through. A surgeon who’s skilled at what he does, and provided me the
opportunity at a new take on life. One without daily pain and aggravation, a
life without constant decision making based on levels of pain and fatigue. A life where I can get up in the morning and
just do whatever I want. I never have
to worry about how many pain relievers to take before my day starts. I never
have to worry about whether I can run all the errands at the end of the
workday, or if I’ll have to save some for the next day when I’m not in so much
pain. One where I don’t have to ice or heat my hip to try and alleviate the
debilitating pain. I never realized how bad it was, until it was so, so good.
Lastly, I am thankful. I am thankful that I had
the opportunity to have the surgery, thankful that I have had such a great
recovery, and thankful (every second of every day) that I have had an extremely
successful PAO experience.
But mostly, I am thankful for every one of you: all the
people in my life who have supported me (silently or loudly). I am thankful,
and grateful, and forever honored to have had such amazing people by my side
throughout all of this. It’s amazing, what good help will do for a recovery.
Most of all I can do today is owed to all of you out there who have been with
me this whole journey. I really couldn’t
have done it without you. So, thank you. <3
